Emailing Idiots
by PianoSonata
Summary: Natsume's always picking on Mikan, even after four years and after they were permitted to get a computer each. What kind of things can cyberspace develop that real interaction can't?
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: **I know I said I was only going to do one-shots, but this one'll be multi-chaptered. It's so easy to type, with no setting and explanations and all. But it'll be just 4-6 chapters only. I've still got a life you know. School's got so many unexpected surprises. So, anyway, I don't think I'm going to write that His Sister sequel for a while, I just love this manga/anime or whatever!! Please review, any queries? Don't hesitate in asking me. By the way this took ages to upload since I kept thinking how to keep the texts right because they were all jumbled, then I came into a conclusion that it was because the link really did exist, so I erased the .com and it worked, but it sucks.**

* * *

**

**E-mailing Idiots **

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: Give me back my skirt, idiot !!

Natsume!! You idiot! Give me my skirt back! Ruka tipped you off already! He told me you stole it from my drawer! Give it back to me now or you will pay a terrible price!

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy 

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: Why should I?

You're such a whiny strawberry printed panties girl, you know? Your username definitely fits you. Honestly, when are you ever going to change that?

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy 

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: Because I told you so

Shut up and just give me my skirt back! You're so immature!

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy 

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: Immature?

Look who's talking.

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy 

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: I'm sick of you!

Just give it to me, darn it! Stop playing games!

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy 

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: Ha! Try saying that to my face!

As if I'm threatened.

* * *

To: I'mTsubasa.aliceacademy 

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: Help me!!

Tsubasa-senpai!! Waaahhh! Natsume won't give me back my skirt!! Waaaaahhhh! I hate him!

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy 

From: I'mTsubasa.aliceacademy

Subject: Don't worry

I'll take care of it.

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy 

From: I'mTsubasa.aliceacademy

Subject: I've some business with you.

Give Mikan's skirt back you idiot, or you'll pay a very terrible price!!

* * *

To: I'mTsubasa.aliceacademy 

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: Funny

I think I've heard that line somewhere. What makes you think I'm scared of you?

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy 

From: I'mTsubasa.aliceacademy

Subject: You better be

Hah! So I guess you're not scared of me buying those pictures of you while you were singing in your bath from Imai and print it for everyone else to see? They're terribly affordable you know.

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy 

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: Idiot

Your skirt's with Ruka.

* * *

To: I'mTsubasa.aliceacademy 

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: Yeyy!!

You did it Tsubasa-sempai!!! Thanks!

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy 

From: I'mTsubasa.aliceacademy

Subject: Anytime

No problem! But Imai is the one who should really get your thanks.

* * *

To: idiotsbeware.cybertech 

From: Strawberry89aliceacademy

Subject: Thanks!

I don't know why, but thanks!

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy 

From: idiotsbeware.cybertech

Subject: Stop bothering me

Bakaa.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n:** Hello! Sorry I haven't been able to update sooner! I'm so busy at school, with choir practice, student council things and homework! It's really kind of frustrating, feels like my head's going to explode. The other day I went down with the flu because of my lack of sleep and food. Well, I'm sort of an insomiac so I don't really notice whether I'm sleepy or not, and I'm not that hungry all the time either. So, anyway here you are! I finished this in one night, haha! Review!**

* * *

**

**2:45 in the morning….**

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

From: rabbitlover.animals/inc

Subject: Did you get your skirt back?

When I asked Natsume yesterday, he just smirked and turned away. What was that all about?

* * *

To: rabbitlover.animals/inc

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: Re: Did you get your skirt back?

Umm…Ruka-pyon, have you ever lied to me?

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

From: rabbitlover.animals/inc

Subject: Well…

Not that I remember.

* * *

To: rabbitlover.animals/inc

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: Natsume, that idiot!

He told me that my skirt was with you! The idiot! I really hate that guy!!!! Are you sure it's not with you?

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

From: rabbitlover.animals/inc

Subject: LOL!

LOL! Hahaha! And you believed him!? Wahahaha!! That's sort of stupid for Natsume to do. Why let me take the blame when he knows full well that you'll find out sooner or later? That guy's too much.

* * *

To: rabbitlover.animals/inc

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: Grrr!!

He only does that to irk me! I mean, what does he get for all of this? Nothing!

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

From: rabbitlover.animals/inc

Subject: Actually…

Well, he gets your attention.

* * *

To: rabbitlover.animals/inc

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: Huh?!

And what's so special about my attention?

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

From: rabbitlover.animals/inc

Subject: Clueless…

You just really don't get it, do you?

* * *

To: rabbitlover.animals/inc

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: no…

I don't.

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

From: rabbitlover.animals/inc

Subject: being clueless and honest don't make a very good personality

Three years haven't really developed your head? WTF! I sound like Natsume! That guy's really got some issues. Anyways, I'd rather not tell you, I mean, you'd rather not know, trust me on this.

* * *

To: rabbitlover.animals/inc

From: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

Subject: (yawn!)

Well, whatever. It's almost 3 in the morning; we've been at this for practically six hours.

* * *

To: Strawberry89.aliceacademy

From: rabbitlover.animals/inc

Subject: pretty sleepy myself.

Okay, you won't be able to cope up in class even more if I keep this going. LOL. Goodnight, let's hope Natsume won't bite!

* * *

To: All Special Ability Type students

From: CC: I'mdprincipal.aaprincipals, CC: SuperImai.aaprincipals CC: Tono-playboy.handsomeguys, CC: I'mTsubasa.aliceacademy

To all Special Ability Type students, we are pleased to inform you that you have finally gotten your personal URL. Please be reminded to change your username to username dot special-ablty. Thank you for continuing your use of aliceacademy webs.

Almost resigning,

Sakurano Shinichi

* * *

To: idiotsbeware.cybertech

From: ichigomikan.special-ablty

Subject: Hello!!

Hey! Hotaru-chan! Look! I've got a new username!! Isn't it great? Ne, what do you think?

* * *

To: ichigomikan.special-ablty

From: idiotsbeware.cybertech (automated reply)

Subject: auto-reply

Whoever you are, insane enough to e-mail me at this time of night, I advise you to vanish before I track you down and shoot you with my idiot canon. Have a nice day.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n:** Sorry for the long wait everyone!! I recently just bought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and finished it in a minimum of 2 and a half days!! It was so cool! And some of my theories were correct! I bought it at a book fair at our school, that's why I got a free HBP book. Now I have 2 copies, so cool! Anyway, I became ed-in-chief after all! Hurray! I'm just a sophomore and I'm the Head of the School paper in the highschool dept. How cool is that?!

* * *

**E-mailing Idiots**

To: ichigomikan.special-ablty

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: You're in love with me…

Will you ever stop gazing at me dreamily during class?

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy

From: ichigomikan.special-ablty

Subject: You're insane!

I guess you misinterpreted my expression because I was quite sure that it was a look of disgust I was showing you.

Why would I ever be in love with you, you great perverted maniac!?

* * *

To: ichigomikan.special-ablty

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: you just can't resist me….

Perverted maniac? Ha! That's original! You were drooling all over while staring at me during Algebra class, but still you deny that you love me?

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy

From: ichigomikan.special-ablty

Subject: Excuse me?

I don't love you.

* * *

To: ichigomikan.special-ablty

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: You're excused…

Maybe it's lust then. Remember that time when you secretly slipped in some chocolates inside my gym bag during Valentine's day?

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy

From: ichigomikan.special-ablty

Subject: What the…

How the heck did you find out about that!?

* * *

To: ichigomikan.special-ablty

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: haha, got you didn't I?

I've got my sources!

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy

From: ichigomikan.special-ablty

Subject: I will kill Iinchou!!

Whatever! Those chocolates weren't really from me, they were from Sumire, and she asked me to do it. I couldn't refuse because it was for a box of Howalon!! And it was so easy to carefully slip in those chocolates!

* * *

To: ichigomikan.special-ablty

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: haha. It wasn't Iinchou!

So, anyway, have you got anyone to go with to the dance yet?

* * *

I already do.

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy

From: ichigomikan.special-ablty

Subject: Why you asking?

No. Not yet. I guess I'll end up danceless again this year, if there is such a word anyway.

* * *

To: ichigomikan.special-ablty

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: just as I expected…

That's because you're a pathetic idiot and nobody wants to get their feet trodden by yours.

You know, because you're so pitiful and I'm such a wonderful guy, even though it breaks my heart, and sooner it'll be my feet, I'll take you to the dance this year.

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy

From: ichigomikan.special-ablty

Subject: You're kidding, right?

I thought you already have a dance partner.

* * *

To: ichigomikan.special-ablty

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

Subject: …..

Yeah, I do.

You.

* * *

To: Blackcat.aliceacademy

From: ichigomikan.special-ablty

Subject: Yeah, right!

As if I'd give you an opportunity to have me as your dance partner and grope my ass all night! Give me a break Natsume!

* * *

To: ichigomikan.special-ablty

From: Blackcat.aliceacademy

SOL. I think you've mistaken my statement. That wasn't a friendly request as your thick-headed skull might have processed. It was an order! You will go to the dance with me whether you like it or not!

* * *

IM

**Natsumeisanidiot**: I really hate that insensitive bastard of a friend of yours. Honestly! Why'd he force me to go with him? He's losing his mind, that one!

**Bunniesarethetrick: **thesimple answer to that is staring you on the face, but you're too dense to get the hint.

**Natsumeisanidiot:** Yeah, and that's supposed to be a…

**Bunniesarethetrick**: an insulting compliment, yes.

**I'mtalking2idiot:** you really piss me off you know, Ruka.

**Bunniesarethetrick:** Whatever the hell are you doing here, Imai?

**I'mtalking2idiot**: Don't talk to me like that Ruka! Or I'll really sell those pictures of you whilst kissing your teddy bear at night.

**Bunniesarethetrick**: You really oughtn't do that.

**I'mtalking2idiot**: You're a waste of cyber space, get out of here!

**Bunniesarethetrick appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in.**

**I'mtalking2idiot: **Now I can tell you what I need to tell you, Mikan.

**Natsumeisanidiot: **And what is that?

**I'mtalking2idiot**: You're an idiot…

**Natsumeisanidiot:** Don't you think I already know that?

**I'mtalking2idiot:** Let me finish...for going with Natsume to that dance. But I'm sure it'll be pretty amusing.

* * *

(SOL-Smirking out loud) 


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: **I'm sorry this was really late. My brain's bursting from all the stress from school!! This has some forced humor, and you may not really find this funny. So, I'm sorry.**

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**

**E-mailing Idiots**

Music filled her ears as she entered the brightly-lit grounds. She was bouncing with excitement as she saw people dancing around to the beat of the music. She saw Hotaru looking very elegant in her ornately designed midnight-blue gown studded with diamonds; everyone had gowns assigned to them, nobody complained, for all of the gowns were elaborately well-made. Mikan was looking pretty gorgeous herself in her lilac gown. The lace of her gown had really stunning butterfly patterns on it, underneath was a silky fabric that really felt good on her skin. Natsume insisted on letting her hair down, so she had no choice.

_**Text Message:**_

_Natsume-kun where r u?? I've been w8ing 4 quite a wyl now._

_**Reply:**_

_Hontou? I don't see you anywhere._

_**Reply:**_

_Nande? Where r u anyway?_

_**Reply: **_

_Say, r u that girl in the pink dress?_

_**Reply:**_

_What?! No, how could you say that's me?_

"Stupid, Natsume!!"

"Who are you calling stupid? Baka?"

"Natsume! What the hell took you so long? I've been waiting for hours!"

"Don't exaggerate! It was only for 24 minutes, I saw you ogling at the food."

"Arrgghhh! Natsume! You had me wait for 24 minutes! You're so selfish!"

"And you are so talkative! Shut up and dance with me!"

"How rude! Do you expect a girl to dance with you if you ask her like that?"

"Okay then. Would you please shut your big mouth and voluntarily dance with me or else?"

"Well, it's not like I have a choice, do I?"

"Umm, yeah."

They danced in a slow, sweeping movement. A while ago, Mikan was pouting, but after a bit, she smiled so brightly that Natsume was tempted to do the same.

* * *

From a distance, Ruka was staring at the two 14 year olds. He was really happy, but sad at the same time. He knew that Natsume really fancied Mikan, the problem is, he fancied Mikan too.

_**Text Message:**_

_If u lyk her, tell her b4 it's too l8._

_**Reply:**_

_Imai! How did u get my number? No 1 knows it other than Natsume!_

_**Reply:**_

_I'm the head of d Dept. of cybertech communications in the academy in case u haven't noticed, u idiot!_

_**Reply:**_

_sigh It's no use. Natsume lyks Mikan, and I think she lyks him too._

_**Reply:**_

_Ur such a chickn, Ruka. It's not lyk ul lose anything if u try._

_**Reply:**_

_Watever. Would u dance with me? My butt's getting sore from sitting here all nyt!_

_**Reply: **_

_I'm ryt behind u._

"Imai,"

"Ruka."

"Will you dance with me?"

"Not unless you sign this first."

"What's this?"

"A contract that has the power to send you directly to jail if ever you trod on my feet. Of course, I would humbly forgive you for a reasonable price"

"I should have known something like this would be involved."

"What? Are you going to sign or am I just going to the punch table and happily spend the whole night there?"

"Sure, I'm going to sign. As if I'm not used to you blackmailing me all the time."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n: After a century or so, I'm finally back!!!! Wahahahaha!!! It's just too sad that I came back with the last chapter!! BooHoo! This is the end. But don't worry, our semestral break is almost here so you can expect a lot of updates from me!! And besides I've got a bonus chapter for this fic! It's really short but fun, wait for it! Maybe an hour from now!! Please, as always, review my dear readers!!! Huzzah!!

* * *

Emailing Idiots**

The dance floor was strewn with couples, all of them swaying into the soft, slow music that was playing throughout the hall. The night was gradually deepening and everything seemed to be a blur. Everyone had a romantic aura, save one couple (are they?).

"Ow!! Stop stepping on my foot!"

"Shut up!! Baka!"

"You're so not a gentleman! A real gentleman wouldn't do this to a lady!"

"That's because you're not a lady! You're an idiot!"

"I hate you!"

"I hate you more!!"

They suddenly stopped bickering when they noticed that everyone was staring at them. Ruka suddenly grabbed Mikan away from Natsume while Hotaru did the same with Natsume too.

"Why do you keep on arguing with him, Mikan?"

"It's his fault! I hate that stinking bastard!"

* * *

"Do you? I think you rather enjoy her, Natsume-kun."

"She's such an idiot! But yeah, it is quite enjoyable to torture her."

"So you're irritated by her, but you like being with her."

* * *

"Of course not, why would I be attracted to a guy like that?"

"Well, opposites usually attract."

"I do really quite like the fact that-,"

* * *

"-she's a complete retard and her brain's as big, no, as small as a cockroaches' brain."

"You two are too dense. You say all those things when you're, quite obviously, attracted to each other."

"Don't be stupid! There's no possible way in hell that I could-,"

* * *

"-actually like him! He's rude, conceited and so-,"

"We both know him well enough to know that he's not like that, Mikan."

"You're right. Maybe I-,"

* * *

"-do fancy her. All those e-mails, they were-"

* * *

"-sent for a reason. He does that to annoy me!!"

"He likes you for God's sake!! Are you two really that stubborn to pretend you're blind? As much as it pains me, he loves you as much as-"

* * *

"-you do. I can tell."

"Ruka!"

"Go to her!"

"What?"

"Just, just go to her Natsume!"

Natsume thought for a fraction of a second and seem to made up his mind. He ran across the dance floor and seized Mikan by the hand.

"Now this is not an accident(?) anymore"

He kissed her as a new beat came from the stereo. Breakaway by: Kelly Clarkson started to play and everyone started whooping at Natsume and Mikan. The moonlight coming from the glass ceiling illuminated the both of them in the middle of the hall.

* * *

?Check the Gakuen Alice Christmas ball( I think about chapter 49-50) the time Natsume and Mikan accidentally kissed! 


	6. Epilogue!

**A/n: Hi guys! Heres the extra chapter I promised. Well, guess this is were it really ends. I have no plan of doing a sequel, because I'm going to start the His Sister seq!! woohooo!!! I love your reviews! Keep them coming! Tell me where I went wrong!

* * *

Emailing Idiots Epilogue**

To: imhot.hyuugawebs

From:slave.hyuugawebs

Subject: You're a pain Natsume!!

You are such an insufferable, cruel and insensitive person NATSUME!! You even changed my username in IM! Why can't you ask for my consent first!?

* * *

To:slave.hyuugawebs

From: imhot.hyuugawebs

Subject: So are you Mikan!

Because, you're my girlfriend and you're my property, as simple as that. Can't you're puny brain process that?

* * *

To: imhot.hyuugawebs

From: slave.hyuugawebs

Subject: you called me Mikan?

That's so dominant of you Natsume! Just because I'm your girlfriend it doesn't mean that you can own me! And besides, I never really approved of that term! I'm your girl friend! Okay! A friend of yours that is a girl!!!

* * *

To: slave.hyuugawebs

From:imhot.hyuugawebs

Subject: Nonsense!!!!

Stop pretending that you don't like it. You're in love with me, Idiot!

And so am I.

* * *

To:imhot.hyuugawebs

From: slave.hyuugawebs

Subject: Awwwwww!

That's the sweetest thing you've ever told me! Come to think of it, it's the only sweet thing you've told me.

* * *

To: slave.hyuugawebs

From: imhot.hyuugawebs

Subject: Shut up

I'm giving you back to Ruka. You're such a pain in the neck.

* * *

To: imhot.hyuugawebs

From:slave.hyuugawebs

Subject: You shut up!

Don't act as if you bought me!!

Hmm…Actually, I haven't seen Ruka for a while now, and Hotaru as well.

Do you think…

* * *

To: slave.hyuugawebs

From: imhot.hyuugawebs

Subject: What are you thinking…

Ruka, I know who he likes. Imai, she doesn't seem to be that kind of person.

* * *

Mikan and Natsume walked together to history class. On their way to the classroom they met Ruka, who was looking pretty flushed and dodging glances at Hotaru who looked emotionless as usual. 

"What's up with you guys?"

"Mikan, um-ah-er, nothing." (Ruka)

"Let me guess, you fell off a tree and got your pants ripped off." (Natsume)

"Close." Hotaru

Suddenly Ko-kun (the mind-reading dude) arrived.

"He tripped at the steps and fell over Imai-san and accidentally kissed her square on the lips. And he feels a bit embarrassed about it."

"I'm telling you, accidental kisses, that's were it first starts." (Natsume)


End file.
